No Two People Ever Really Loved Each Other

Posted on February 12, 2012 by Steve

The title of this blog is a quote from Byron Katie. On the surface it sounds cynical, but in the context of what she was talking about, it’s a profound and beautiful truth.

"He who loves himself sooner or later starts overflowing with love." —Osho

This morning we started in self-hug mudra, arms crossed and wrapping the torso with hands cupping opposite shoulder caps, eyes closed, breathing deeply. The exercise was to call to mind someone you love and admire, and then a noble quality that you love about the person. We spoke these qualities aloud: they included kindness, positiveness, integrity, intelligence, and courage.

The revelation was this: whether we realize it or not, these qualities which we admire in others are within ourselves. If they weren’t, we wouldn’t be able to recognize them.

This is what Byron Katie means when she says no two people ever really loved each other. Love isn’t an action or effort. It’s a state of being, a capacity, a space in which we learn and evolve. The people we “love” are in our lives to mirror our noble (and sometimes not-so noble) qualities back to us. The essence of who were are is basically the same; our perception that there are two people is a result of the illusion that we are somehow separate. Spiritual practice at its most powerful heals separation and returns us to oneness.

As spiritual partners, we can mirror, encourage and help draw out one another’s noble qualities. Keeping our hearts open, we can step a little more fully into our divine essence with each in-breath.

 

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Love Is Space?

Posted on February 11, 2012 by Steve

Love is Space is the title of an album by Deva Premal. This morning, we explored what she may have meant by this.

The sky, holding space for a cloud.

Space, by its nature, is undefinable and formless. It’s basically that which contains whatever arises in it. You may have heard the term, holding space, or holding sacred space. With our awareness alone, we can become containers for whatever needs to arise, evolve, or release. While we often feel inclined to manipulate or fix, sometimes the most courageous and loving thing we can do is to accept, allow, and simply watch, without judgment or interference.

To hold space for others, we can practice by holding space for ourselves. We began the physical practice with our joints, where there’s the most space in the body. As the postures became increasingly restrictive, the invitation was to create space using the breath alone. As thoughts and emotions arose, we were encouraged to give them space as well, without judging them as positive or negative. This is a good way for us to remember the unconditionalness of love.

Physics tells us the body is mostly space, and when we can relax and let go completely, we can experience that space. During yoga nidra, we focused on emptying the body and mind of tensions and holdings to make us fully available to recognize the space of awareness that is our true nature.

In the film, Dan In Real Life, the character who plays Dan’s daughter’s boyfriend says, “Love is not a feeling. It’s an ability.” More precisely, it’s a capacity, a willingness to become spacious.

 

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Hosting The Moment

Posted on February 5, 2012 by Steve

Pema Chodron says to welcome the present moment as if you had invited it. This means being a gracious host, accepting it unconditionally.

The truth is, we can’t really run away from it, fight it, or, like a bouncer, throw it into the street. That’s because the present moment, is, in fact, the only moment there is.

When you embrace the moment you become a participant in it.

Our practice this morning involved opening the arms, which represent our capacity to embrace, and the heart, our center of compassion and acceptance.

As the postures became more challenging, the invitation was to deepen our breath and awareness. When you notice yourself resisting the moment, are you willing to do the opposite?

Empowering yourself with responsibility (the ability to respond), you become a participant and co-creator of the moment. When this happens, the moment becomes your teacher. Only by being fully present are we able to learn, evolve, and connect with our aliveness.

In the heart of our yoga nidra practice, the opportunity was presented to merge with the moment itself.

Welcome to the present.

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Loosening The Grip of Habitual Thinking

Posted on February 4, 2012 by Steve

Vibrance greatly depends on how we use our minds….When we greet the new day with the same old mind, the results are pretty predictable. In actual fact, every moment we face is brand-new and calls for spontaneity of thinking. —Gay Hendricks

As we began this morning’s practice in child’s pose, we were led mentally through a sequence of highly advanced postures and transitions. Immediately we were faced with the awareness of how habitual or reactive thinking can shut us down. A reactive thought to a one-armed handstand might be, for example, “Are you crazy?” Habitual thinking decreases our capacity for living a full, vibrant life.

Practicing this, even if only in your mind, will free you from habitual thinking and increase your spontaneity.

As the postures we practiced with our bodies were broken down into their basic elements, the challenge was to respond spontaneously to the instructions without rushing ahead, physically or mentally. Can you remain in the initial upright stage of dancer, simply feeling the engagement of the standing leg, the security of the ankle in your hand, the preliminary opening of the wrist, thigh and shoulder? Can you respond spontaneously to this moment exactly as it is, or does your unconscious autopilot take you flying into the future?

Once we begin to release habitual holdings in our minds and bodies, we become available to unlimited possibilities and the feeling of vibrance that comes with that freedom. We can enjoy one-armed handstands—even if only in our minds.

 

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Be Like A Banished Astronaut

Posted on January 29, 2012 by Steve

Thich Nhat Hahn tells the story of astronauts stuck on the moon with not enough oxygen to get back to earth. They are not wanting to be the CEO of a large corporation, or President of the United States. All they want is to walk on the earth, breathing, holding the hand of their beloved and gazing up at the moon.

The earth, as seen from the moon.

We should all live our lives with this same appreciation.

The Taoists believe that humans, like plants, grow up out of the earth. When thoughts, worries and concerns take us elsewhere, it’s very easy to lose that connection. Our practice this morning was intended to settle our minds and reconnect with the essential roots of our existence and aliveness. We used breath, core and awareness of foundation to build the postures from the ground up,  ending up on our bellies in a restorative hip opener. In yoga nidra, the invitation was to surrender to gravity and allow the body to open to earth.

Take an opportunity each day to spend some time outside, even if it’s just a few minutes, and reconnect.

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The Vibration of Compassion

Posted on January 28, 2012 by Steve

The same piece of classical music was once conducted separately by two different conductors. While Conductor A was kind and compassionate toward the orchestra, Conductor B was nasty and intolerant.

The two versions were recorded and played to a group of listeners. Even though the notes were identical, they were received in completely different ways. The version conducted by Conductor A had a pleasant, calming effect on the listeners, while the one conducted by Conductor B had a disturbing effect. That’s because the intention (or lack thereof) behind the music had completely different qualities of energy and awareness.

Consider your intention.

This morning we focused on the power of intention, using the breath as an indicator. The invitation was to lead with the breath, maintaining deep, rich, smooth, rhythmic inhales and exhales regardless of the difficulty or intensity of the poses. When used with kindness and compassion, the ujjayi contraction at the back of the throat brings a warmth and vibration to the breath as it moves in and out of the body.

How you conduct yourself in your yoga practice can be a good indicator on how you treat yourself and others in every day life. When things seem to be getting cacophonous or out of sync, keep coming back to your intention.

 

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Agreements We’ve Made With Ourselves

Posted on January 22, 2012 by Steve

This morning’s practice was an inquiry based on The Four Agreements.  The invitation was to identify the agreement that challenges you the most:

1. Be impeccable with your word. Speak truthfully, and use your words for their highest good, not against yourself or others.

2. Don’t take anything personally. Remember that what other people do or say is first and foremost their projection, not yours.

3. Don’t make assumptions. Clearly communicate what you want without predicting what others want.

4. Always do your best. Do your best in this moment, not skipping ahead to the future or relapsing into the past.

The postures, many of which were difficult and irregularly sequenced, presented opportunities to observe the agreements we’ve made with ourselves and see how they no longer serve us.

Does negative self-talk come up during challenging postures? Do you take it personally when the instructor presents a posture you hate, or when the practitioner next to you does it effortlessly, as if to rub your nose in it? Do you assume that a sequence will be the same on the left side as it was on the right? Are you doing your best in the moment or are you stuck in the past, not bothering to challenge yourself, or skipping ahead to the future, forcing your body into a position for which it isn’t ready?

As we practice watching our agreements and how they might limit us, we can begin to take steps to change them.

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Keep Practicing & Detach from the Outcome

Posted on January 21, 2012 by Steve

Research shows that less than 10% of New Year’s resolutions are met.

Why is this? Why, for example, is attendance high in health clubs the first week of the year, and then trails off?

Patanjali, the grandmaster of yoga, said there are two things you need to do. The first is abhyasa, or persevering practice, and the other is vairagya, or nonattachment to the outcome. He’s referring specifically to stilling your mind, but this can apply to anything. When we attach to an outcome, and it doesn’t happen the way we’d like, we get frustrated, disappointed, disgusted with ourselves, and then we give up.

This morning we practiced abhyasa and vairagya by repeating challenging exercises and balancing postures and watching thought patterns of self-judgment, perfectionism, and other deeply held beliefs that might attach us to an outcome and cause us to quit, or at least suffer.

Deepak Chopra has a healthy way to look at it, which he calls having a vague intention. In other words, yes, set a goal for yourself, but then detach from the outcome. Continually come back to the practice, doing your best in the present moment. Keep moving toward the outcome. Here’s some inspiration:

Perseverance video:
Perserverance

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Meeting physical force with soul force

Posted on January 15, 2012 by Steve

Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force. —Martin Luther King, Jr.

Yesterday I was listening to a love and relationships workshop led by Alison Armstrong. She talked about Martin Luther King and what made him potent. She said he dwelled in love. He loved his family, his church and his country wholeheartedly and unconditionally.

Love enables will. The more you dwell in love, the more potent you become. This what
Dr. King meant by soul force.

Warrior A, a courageously deep hip and heart opener.

This morning, focusing on heart and hip openers, we were challenged to meet our physical limitations and challenges in a conscious, loving way. Rather than forcing the body, the invitation was to meet it where it is, with the compassion to not go past our edge, and the courage to remain fully present to whatever sensations or emotions might arise.

One of our peak poses, which is more commonly used as a warm-up, was Warrior A, a heart-centered posture of strength and courage. Our yoga nidra practice included long pauses to rest in awareness, and affirmations about whole-hearted acceptance, unconditional love, and the boundless potency of our true nature.

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Savoring vs. Devouring

Posted on January 14, 2012 by Steve

We began this morning with a practice transmitted to me by my life coach teacher, Richard Seaman. Each of us were given a mini-box of raisins and asked to single out one raisin, hold it, examine it, and then place it in our mouths without chewing for about two minutes. The invitation, as Richard puts it, is to simply be with the raisin.

Can one raisin keep you interested?

After finally chewing and swallowing the raisin, we went ahead and devoured the rest of the raisins in one mouthful.

When comparing the two experiences, some of us found the single raisin to be fully satisfying, and the mouthful of raisins to be too much.

These aren’t just two approaches to eating, but to how we live our entire lives. We can be fully present, savoring whatever is in front of us, or we can hurry through and miss all the nuances. We practiced being with our breath, one breath at a time, while holding basic yet challenging postures. In yoga nidra, we were invited to be with sensation, breath and objects in awareness.

The raisin practice, by the way, is good for losing weight if that’s one of your resolutions for the New Year. One of my teachers once had a weakness for brownies. She let a tiny morsel dissolve in her mouth, and was so grossed out she never had another brownie again.

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